Monday, December 31, 2012

before i jump. . into the New Year!

Out with the old and in with the new!

2012 has been a year of growth for me, and I really thought that I had a handle on the upcoming new year. I wrote out my resolutions, I planned out my next few weeks in both my work planner and my personal. I was excited for the new year. Something happened today that kind of dulled my enthusiasm and made me a little unsure about some things I had been counting on, but it's the end of the year! I'm sure I will feel better in the morning. I'd like to share something I wrote at some point this year, maybe you'll read it and the next time you go to bring up the past to someone this will pop back up in your head and you'll stop. The past can be very painful and we all look forward to starting fresh. Let people start fresh, let people move past their past mistakes, their hurt and their heartbreak. For once lets leave the past where it belongs. . . in the past.

before i jump.

i don't look at myself
reflecting on the surface of the pool,
before i jump
i never know what might be standing behind me
the past is never in the past.
people never let go.
i will never be able to move on from who i was
because there is always someone wanting to drag me back in.
i don't like it when i bleed
and because of this i am
always hesitant to break the skin
when i barrel into the pool,
running from the past.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

the holidays!

my lovely little cat loaf all cuddled up before X-mas
I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas! My Christmas had a few snags, but nothing too awful. Overall it was wonderful, my lovely family listen to me this year (finally!) about what I'd like for Christmas, and I made out with a large sum of money in Barnes and Noble gift cards  30 plus books later, I'm well on my way to rebuilding the book collection I had before I went digital with a few new books that caught my eye. Upstate New York even had a white Christmas, which is lovely because for a while there we had NO snow. I'll be back sometime to tomorrow to post my year in review, you know everyone will be blasting the interwebs with one. I've also been thinking about adding a book review or at least a what I am reading section so maybe I can get suggestions of new books to read.

Saturday, December 22, 2012


so i went down with the flu and it was awful. this place has been pretty dead for days and i apologize. i did nothing all last week but sleep and puke. this week i had to play catch up at work and it was terrible! but on to the important stuff:

i have not finished my dresser due to illness so be sure to check back in a week or two. i'll get on it after christmas. the reason you are here though is to see my epic ornaments. it's alright, i know hey are bad ass.

this is my ornament from the lovely Micaela's ornament swap!
So a month ago I signed up Micaela's yearly ornament swap. I was paired up with the lovely Elisse, from Elisse is a rock star who took my love of all things Doctor Who and got me this amazing handmade ornament! This ornament reminds us all to not blink and is made out of a soda can! I love it and I can not wait to use it next year. Thank you soooooo much Elisse and I sincerely hope that my ornament reaches you soon.

I ordered this lovely ornament from  HailThePumpkinQueen's shop
Like I said, my goals for this year's Christmas tree was to be as eclectic as possible. I have the purple lights, the purple and silver ornaments and now I've got this lovely little skeleton. Check out the original listing here, my photograph does not do him any justice.

These are currently my two favorite ornaments. I did also order some more ornaments (I know, I know I'll have to use them next year :)) Stay tuned for some handmade Christmas presents, just as soon as I give them out!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

my christmas tree

i haven't really cared for christmas the last 2 years. it's a painful reminder of a painful time in my life. i decided however this year, new place, newly motivated me, it's time for a darn christmas tree!

it's a little tree (i have fears of montauk climbing anything larger) and i've done it up in purple and silver. i've found myself quite fond of it. i've been trying to get some more ornaments for the tree and i am lucky to have won myself a beautiful leather ornament from Katherine Jalaty through her giveaway on the wonderful (and one of my favorites) Tumbleweed.
I also have my lovely Doctor Who ornament i received from the very lovely Micaela's Ornament Swap stay tuned for part two of the fancy dresser overhaul and all the lovely pictures of my ornaments you could every want later this week!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

fancy dresser overhaul

so i've been busy. i've moved and i love every single darn second of it. I got myself some epic chairs, and i'm adjusting to living alone. adjusting lol montauk and i are doing just wonderful! now i've been trying to go with a minimal life style and make my furniture not look so college student. everyone loves pinterest. I LOVE PINTEREST and that is where i found this lovely image:
image credit and idea: Poppytalk

today i went to lowes with my mother and decided to pick up some paint in purple for my dresser. i've been working on it on and off, it takes a lot to coat black paint. stay tuned to see the results!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
Wayne Dyer

it's prolly a little embarrassing but is it bad that i have already begun to think about new years resolutions? i think i want to make like a yearly overview of goals but then make goals for each month. at work a bunch of the gang are trying to do the Seinfeld or Frazier chain and that to me honestly isn't my cup of tea. there are so many goals i set as a child and a teenager that i am not hitting. after julian for a while there i felt like my spark left and i was just existing. i let go of a lot, my health, my weight and my mind to a certain degree. lately i've got that spark back. i want more. i want things to change. and after julian, i know i can make things change. this move to a new place is a big deal for me. i want change. i want so much more lately. i'm motivated. are you?

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

i'm free

being 26 years old i am ready to settle down. i may not be ready to have a boyfriend, but i have certainly moved out of the party every day college mindset. getting a roommate with the opposite game plan was a piss poor idea on my part. yes there were extenuating circumstances. . . yes my apartment complex did not pass code and chose to close my apartment rather than fix it. . . yes i needed a new place to live. however i will not go back to a shared living environment every again. regardless i've stuck it out since june. you know what is nice? not doing something illegal in the house when you know my father is visiting. i'm sick of cleaning up after someone. i'm sick of doing someone else's dishes otherwise they'll just pile up. sick of cleaning up after someone in the bathroom which becomes disgusting if i don't clean it! now? i'm done. i signed my lease release today. oh november 26th you just can not get here soon enough for me! i'm free!

Monday, November 12, 2012

the view from table rock
it is unseasonably warm here this weekend. i hiked myself up to table rock this morning to take a picture. i took others but they did not come out as nice as i had hoped they would. now i am home, lounging around. for the first time in like 3 months i've got myself caught up at work. i don't feel like i need to to work this weekend because i'm caught up and everything is scheduled out. i do need to do some laundry and go collect some more boxes. i've got everything pretty much packed up and ready to go. i need to edit this template i just haven't wanted to. i might ask jason or justin tomorrow at work for some help, i also need to make myself some graphics, maybe next weekend. i am so excited to move, i can barely contain myself. i wish it was closer. i haven't found a lot to toss this time around. i do intend to further cut down when i move. i can not wait to get my new kitchen all set up. i can not wait to only have to clean up after myself. i feel like this apartment is such an opportunity for me. this is an opportunity i do not plan to waste.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

this year i will be participating in Micaela's ornament swap! You have until the 12th if you would like to sign up! like i said before moving this month has me all excited for new beginnings. maybe this year i'll actually set up a Christmas tree! Sign up here!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

packing is a dangerous business

i've been trying to pack up today as i will be moving at the end of the month. packing is a dangerous business. i've been paper cut and dropped a brass owl on my foot. i have however realized i've got far less to pack this time around and once i move in what i don't get rid of now, i will get rid of then. i've been making a big push to become more of a minimalist. i've been reading all the minimalist blogs and i've been making a push to the cloud. going so far as to give up my 600+ books for a nook tablet (which i love might i add). i'm down to nice furniture that doesn't look like i am a stupid college student anymore. i'm not quite where i want to be on many levels but i am slowly on my way there. i can't wait until i move. it's another new beginning and i do not intend to waste it!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Truth is Out There
i have been watching the x-files all day. my own mini marathon. i realized that the x-files started in 1993. my youngest sister was born that year. the x-files will be 20 years old soon. that seems so crazy. my parent's are always like "so and so has been around for x number of years". now i'm that person. 20 years ago i was 6. i am procrastinating. i should be cleaning and packing my stuff up. i should be doing some work and yet here i sit in my bedroom on my bed. here i sit with my netbook open and the tv on. i think the extra hour this morning threw me. i forgot that it was coming and woke up late due to it. my body is very strict when it comes to it's schedule. oh well i'll get up shortly. back to blogging again. we'll see where this takes me.