Monday, December 31, 2012

before i jump. . into the New Year!

Out with the old and in with the new!

2012 has been a year of growth for me, and I really thought that I had a handle on the upcoming new year. I wrote out my resolutions, I planned out my next few weeks in both my work planner and my personal. I was excited for the new year. Something happened today that kind of dulled my enthusiasm and made me a little unsure about some things I had been counting on, but it's the end of the year! I'm sure I will feel better in the morning. I'd like to share something I wrote at some point this year, maybe you'll read it and the next time you go to bring up the past to someone this will pop back up in your head and you'll stop. The past can be very painful and we all look forward to starting fresh. Let people start fresh, let people move past their past mistakes, their hurt and their heartbreak. For once lets leave the past where it belongs. . . in the past.

before i jump.

i don't look at myself
reflecting on the surface of the pool,
before i jump
i never know what might be standing behind me
the past is never in the past.
people never let go.
i will never be able to move on from who i was
because there is always someone wanting to drag me back in.
i don't like it when i bleed
and because of this i am
always hesitant to break the skin
when i barrel into the pool,
running from the past.

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